ParaUnity is an Illusion

There are words that need to be hashed out: paraunity, parafamily, paramafia, paracommunity, parafamily, and any other “para” play-on-words one can think of.  Anyone who joins the community is given the speech about coming together as a community and how they all need to stick together.  As fine and dandy as that it is, it is doubtful that everyone really knows what they want with “paraunity.” This term is used to define a sense of family, togetherness, and unification towards a common cause.  One can joke and say paraunity exists, but in reality it does not exist on a large scale.  And it’s time that the paranormal community sits in the hot seat and goes on time out.

In present time, there is now less research, more drama, and bullying from grown adults.  Ironically, the term "paraunity" came from drama itself, as a way to combat drama and instead come together.  The individuals who coined the term are no longer even involved in the field.

As one's journey in the field begins, one will start noticing truly disgusting things about the paranormal community: blatant lying, trash talking, faking evidence, death threats and more.  Was this really coming from the same people who promoted paraunity and parafamily?  If one isn't careful about who they associate with, they risk becoming blacklisted by certain people as well for having different views or questioning things.  Colleagues and friends are being publicly humiliated on Facebook and having lies being spread about them because they questioned evidence.  Those who are new to the field and not as well researched in the field get publicly blasted for posting bad evidence.  There's name-calling, swearing, and disrespect.  It is like a bad reality TV show that made the Jersey Shore look like Emmy Award-winning entertainment sans the bad tans and constant drinking. And yet these are the same people calling for unity and wanting to further the field of the paranormal into a serious field.


The idea of family and unity in the paranormal community is a myth. I wish it wasn't, but its a sad truth.  It’s something that people hide behind.  The term gives people a false sense of security, as they confide with strangers about their paranormal experiences and disclosing intimate details about their personal lives, which that stranger can abuse in the future. Really!? Now, there are people who are really alone in their lives and they have no one else to talk to, and if they get lucky and find someone out there who can help them, that's great!  These people are unfortunately, the victims.  They are the innocent bystanders who watch this drama between the seasoned investigators and so called experts and they are the ones who decide they won’t deal with it and they leave.  This is the biggest loss in the paranormal community! They are the ones who are the most heartbroken when things fall apart. And they are possibly the ones that will come up with that new piece of equipment or proof that ghost exist. but because they leave the field from being scared of being ridiculed for what they are doing, we possibly lose what we have all been searching for all of our lives.

How do we want to represent the paranormal? There are many investigators who want the paranormal field to be respected by fellow researchers and scientists in the world.  But ask yourself this; do your actions reflect your professionalism?  When you rip someone apart on Facebook while using vulgar language, is that how you want to represent the paranormal community?  It seems as though those who are more in the spotlight get attacked the most.  Is that because of jealousy?  Is it because they are more in the hot seat than other teams?  Who knows?

There needs to be a careful review of the actions of paranormal investigators.  Whether they are justifying their actions for the improvement of the greater good, one needs to ask themselves this:
Do the things you post on your team’s page show that you should be taken seriously as an investigator?  Or is it a blast back to high school? Do your actions reflect the field in a professional and positive light?

Also, the more exposure one gets, the more they are going to get criticized.  Be prepared to deal with it and handle it with class and grace.  As someone very wise once said, “Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.”  Playing victim doesn’t help.  If one only produces defensive rants on their pages instead of quality paranormal research findings, they are not positively contributing to the field.  When one is approached with criticism (constructive or…less constructive), how should one react?  Reactions dictate maturity level and how open one is to criticism.

It seems as though certain investigators and teams seem to think that the only way that they can get credibility and fame is to rip apart another team. There are websites and Facebook pages out there dedicated to exposing frauds in the paranormal.  The first image that came to mind was someone being condemned to the stocks in medieval times.  Granted, there are teams out there intentionally faking their evidence, and they should be held accountable for their actions, and there are very qualified people out there to do it.  But sometimes teams post bad evidence out of ignorance.  It happens.  They might be new to the field or exhaustion got the best of them.  Do they deserve to be humiliated and embarrassed?  No.  In those cases, any hope of a learning experience or a teachable moment is gone.  There are ways to expose fraud in the paranormal with the reputation in tact and making it a teachable moment.  It requires a little extra research and actually talking to the guilty team, but is anyone willing to put out that energy?  My team trys all the time.

There is also a trend of attacking groups for holding ticketed events, making films, or just even existing.  But the worst part is, they are using such poor grammar and language.  There is a lot of value and high respect for someone who can express their case with classy language.  Calling people colorful obscenities doesn’t impress.  Again, this all goes back to how the community members as a whole want to represent the paranormal field.

Also, these sites are calling for people to call the attorney general, the police department, etc.  Okay, if there’s no real fraud happening and there isn't confirmation, please don’t waste taxpayer money.  Witness testimony is flawed.  People lie, embellish and exaggerate on purpose.  Memory is unreliable.  And to be honest, it’s easy to part a fool from their money.  If someone is willing to pay a psychic $500 to tell them the things they already know.  Fine.  If someone is willing to use a team that charges to investigate, fine.  It’s going to happen, and the community needs to get over it.  There's a better way to combat this: promote the fact that there are teams who don’t charge.
There needs to be more research and less drama.

It's also important to note that constructive criticism should not be mistaken for bullying.  Just as one should relax and create teachable moments, those on the otherside should not accuse every person who disagrees with their views and opinions of being bullies.

Why spotlight the negativity and the frauds?  Why is there no [popular] place to praise and showcase the investigators and teams who are doing great things to further the field?  Why is the negative getting all of the attention?  The best (and worse) thing you can do to frauds is not call any attention to them and let them be forgotten.  Let the legacy of those who are making positive contributions get the glory and the attention and let them get the immortality.

Also, let’s face it, next to photography; paranormal investigation is probably one of the most expensive hobbies out there.  Unless one has a TV show, a book, etc. that is making income.  But for the majority, this is a hobby for many; a hobby that people work their jobs to support, a hobby that people must be really passionate about.  It’s actually more than a hobby; it’s a way of life.  So why is time being wasted promoting the negative, the fakes, while using cursing to try to get our point across?

Live and let live.  Leave the other teams alone.  Use that energy to raise the standards of paranormal investigating by leading by example.  And if a colleague gets a TV show, a job in the field, etc.  Be happy for them and support them.  If a colleague disagrees with you on a topic, brush it off, discuss it, and move on.  Paraunity isn’t the idea that everyone agrees with the same thing, it’s the mutual understanding and mutual respect of each other, even if you don’t agree with them.

This dream and hope of paraunity will likely never exist on a large plane.  It can probably exist in more smaller, isolated groups…like paranormal teams.  The first step towards any kind of large-scale community is to all agree to disagree, and knowing that it is okay to do so.

There has been a mass exodus of quality researchers from the paranormal community because of all the negativity and this needs to stop.